This is a blog post that i've been meaning to write for a while but didn't want to come across like I felt sorry for myself. I mean, I literally have written and deleted post drafts out of fear of looking like a moaner.
It wasn't until the other day when I saw Jasmine Star's blog post 'When You Feel All Alone' that I decided to write it. If someone as successful as Jasmine has suffered the lonely times, then what i'm going through is completely normal.
Starting a business is one of the best yet most difficult things i've ever had to do for many reasons, but when I actually think about it, the part that is most hardest is how alone you can feel at times.
Those moments when you are surrounded by your friends and everyone is discussing work. Yes, they may all work in different careers but certain things are all the same: office politics, wage slips, pay day splurges and staff parties. These are things that I know I can't relate to. Please don't get me wrong, I'm extremely proud of all my friends and everything they achieve, they work so hard and I do love to hear about what they do get up to in work.Yet at the same time it can feel very isolating. It almost makes me wish I had coworkers to go to parties with and have office banter, crazy.
I work alone in my office most times. I don't have a set wage slip or income. Sometimes I can't even afford to pay my own personal phone bill because money has had to be spent elsewhere relating to my business. I've no idea who to ask for advice when things aren't going right because nobody else is self-employed. There have been some desperately dark times, yet I have nobody to really turn to who can really relate to my issues.
This part of Jasmine's post is what really touched home for me:
Dear Dreamer,
I know the mornings of waking up to sound of adrenaline pumping in your ears. I know what it feels like to make mistakes. I know apologies. I know the high of your first paying customer to the low of your first NSF. I know uncomfortable conversations. I know losing a friend because Business got in the way. I know failure.
But I also know that the world is a better place because you're trying. By simply showing up, taking a risk, and doing your best, you're empowering others to do the same. And, together, we'll leave this place better than we found it.
Shine On,
j*
So for all those out there who are feeling alone, well… you're not truly alone. There are thousands of other self-employed people out there going through the exact same emotions as you. I know that whenever I feel alone from now on, I'll always refer to this blog post and the comments on there.
I'm not there yet myself, but I know things will get better.
Remember: Nothing worth having ever comes easy.
